Dec
11
2012

Chili Baiting Zombies Explained

If you are reading this, you are obviously intelligent, unlike the idiots at ZombiesHateChili.com. In this article, we are going to explain the fundamentals of chili baiting zombies and provide you with life saving information on protecting yourself during zombie apocalypse using the zombies love of chili against them.

Most of you are aware that zombies love chili and most of you are aware of zombie baiting techniques (as was seen in a recent episode of The Walking Dead) using humans to distract zombie hoards and allow escape. We are going to provide you with the single most important information on how to defend yourself against a zombie attack, zombie hoard or zombie mob. This information could never be provided to you by anyone that believes zombies hate chili, they will be the ones chasing you during the apocalypse as they will be infected by the zombie flu.

Zombie Chili Baiting: (Definiti0n) The act of using chili to attract zombies to a specific area or away from a specific area.

Attraction of Zombies using chili baiting: The principle is simple, to attract zombies to a specific area, strategically place large quantities of chili in those desired areas. A little known fact about Zombies is a zombie’s sense of smell rivals that of a Grizzly Bear. Chili baiting zombies is so effective because a zombie can smell chili from miles away and will be drawn to it instinctively. Once chili baited, your group can do whatever is necessary to ensure safety like kill or trap the zombies.

  • Oftentimes when using advanced chili baiting techniques, the baited zombies love chili so much they will turn on and kill each other to defend the chili from other zombies.
  • In rare cases, mass chili baiting has attracted too few zombies and the zombies have killed themselves by eating too much chili. (Would this ever happen if zombies hate chili?)

Repulsion of Zombies using chili baiting: Again, the principle is simple, strategically place large quantities of chili far away from your base camp or doomsday bunker or fallout safe zone. In doing this, you will almost certainly ensure no zombies will encroach on your camp. One VERY critical thing to remember when using zombie chili baiting for repulsion is that zombies love chili so much, you could be mobbed by zombies when placing the chili bait.

  • The dangers of chili baiting can be lessened or avoided entirely by using a counter-baiting substance such as mayonnaise, which zombies hate. Cover yourself with mayonnaise before heading out on your zombie chili baiting mission and your chances of survival increase substantially.

You now know the basics of zombie chili baiting and how to exploit the zombies love of chili to use it to your own survival advantage. There are many, many more secrets to zombie chili baiting but if you practice what you have just learned and remember that zombies love chili, your chances for survival in a zombie attack will be hundreds of times greater than someone who thinks that zombies hate chili.

 

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