Even the worst of things can be made better with chili. Take this Zombie Chili recipe for example:
3 – cans tomatoes, stewed
2 – cans chili beans
2 – cans dark kidney beans
2 – cans light kidney beans
1 – cup diced onion
3 – chopped peppers (one of each: red, yellow, green)
6 – ounces dried chile peppers
2 – medium roadkill (squirrel, opossum, raccoon), ripe – Try to avoid skunk as their smell can confuse the zombies by masking the chili scent
2 – pounds large roadkill (deer, elephant, rhino, hippo, moose), internals
6 – ounces Tabasco sauce
10 – cups chili powder
1 – gallon white vinegar
1/2 – teaspoon water
Combine the ingredients in a large kettle or cauldron and cook over high heat on open fire, stirring occasionally until meat and bones separate, or zombies show up to eat! Word of caution to be diligent during cooking as zombies do not hate chili and could come at any time due to the sweet smell of chili.
This recipe makes enough zombie roadkill chili to feed approximately 1 zombie because zombies love chili so much.